Date #2-- Boring coffee.

Date #2 for me was also an online date. Match.com. Short date that wasn't great. This guy was very tall and also seemed cute in the photos. I became a little skeptical that it'd work out between us when he recommended we meet up at Cosi in DuPont Circle one day during the week, after work. Looking back on it now, I realize I have 2 problems I have with this set up:
1. No alcohol! First dates are awkward. And meeting someone after work allows room for the potential for you both to be stressed out. Alcohol is - as everyone knows!-- a social lubricant. And I'm coming to realize that it is necessary for mid-week first dates!
2. Cosi is boring. DuPont Circle is an amazing part of town with tons of interesting places to go, including independent restaurants, bars, bookstores, teahouses, yoga studios, shoes stores, you name it. Cosi is a boring corporate chain. Why on Earth would you choose to patronize a lifeless place like Cosi in the middle of such a great neighborhood?

I certainly could have recommended that we go somewhere else, when we were settling the details of the date, but I was under the impression that the girl should let the guy organize the details of the date. Now, I'm not so sure. Especially for the first time you're meeting -- which will only be the case with blind dates and online dates -- why do something you know you won't like?

After we met, he ordered a large coffee and I ordered a tea. We chatted about pretty cool stuff like his interest in DJ'ing and computers, and our shared love of traveling. And although my first thought when I saw him was, "not that cute", the conversation was going really well. And I thought to myself hmm... maybe there's something here. But then, after I got back from the ladies room, he said he should get going. Ugh! Sign of a failed date is when the guy ends it first! (This is why ladies, we're supposed to be the first to end the date -- gotta leave 'em wanting more.) But then he threw in that he was starving for dinner. Well, yes, that was probably an excuse to leave, and not a reflection of Cosi's menu. Sigh. (Guess who never called afterwards to set up a second date.)

Lesson of the Date: Don't agree to do boring things on a first date! If you're bored with the date, your date will find you boring, too!

i'm not doing very well...

i've only managed the one date in two weeks. this is not looking good. getting nervous. how are you all doing?  any ideas for how i can up my game??

No juicy details just yet..

Oops...so sorry everyone!! it's nearly Vday, and I've yet to post!! Or go on a FIRST first date for that matter, though I have sort of been scheming...before I get into that though, an intro...





















Sooo, as you can see I live in NYC! I won't lie, it does not look like that right now. Actually it's pretty frigid and non-magical with all the hideous snow, BUT I'm trying not to let it get me down. So I spend a lot of time working at a nonprofit, luxuriating in my alone time, running errands, partaking in the occasional workout/happy hr/movie night, and hanging with the good friends I adore and have known for years and years and years. Therefore, I really don't date. I give out advice to my single peeps like I'm Carrie Bradshaw, but in my own life, I'm too shy and I hate putting myself out there, so I've removed myself from anything resembling a dating scene for the last...mm entire year.

But that brings us to now! In the new year, I did make a resolution to actually date, and after some gentle coaxing from my dear friend lady london, I decided I was ready for the challenge. Twelve dates is more than I've ever been on, so I'm quietly shaking in my boots here, but I'm excited to put myself through a bit of a date-a-thon, especially since I have three girls around the world to share it with!

As I'm writing this, I've just scheduled my first date for next week...muahahha. Too-many-details to come!!

Is it still a date if...

Aloha from Honolulu!

I moved to this tropical paradise a few months ago for a job with the US government, and it is indeed full of sunshine, rainbows and cocktails with tiny umbrellas. Please, allow me to set the mood...

So this is where I'm looking for romance. Shouldn't be too hard, right? But the truth is, Hawaii can be as fickle as London and D.C. when it comes to finding a good fit. My attempt at my first date was a case in point.

I had just met the man of my dreams. Sitting in my cubicle at the office where I was temping (while waiting on an official start date for my government job), my boss waved a resume of another potential temp under my nose.

Look at this guy, he demanded. He's just like you!

Fresh out of graduate school, time spent travelling the world, undergraduate degree in Physics...mmm, he did indeed look perfect. It can be tricky to find a guy with more to his resume than "Surf School" and "Experienced home brewer" in the Aloha State. And the coup de grace - when he came in for the interview, I could hear the other girls squeal at how tall and handsome he was. I had to meet this guy! I decided to say hello as he came out of his interview. As soon as I heard the meeting end, I casually sauntered out of my office...but alas! He had already made it out the door to the elevators. Desparate, I busted out to the elevators, and breathlessly shouted hello to a very startled man-of-my-dreams.

Success! I mentioned that I was new to Hawaii too and we arranged for drinks the following day.

And the next day, happy hour started perfectly. He loved my bar, he loved my choice of beer, he loved Hawaii. And what brought him to Hawaii? I inquired...

Oh, it was mostly his boyfriend's idea.

:(

Dammit. So even in Hawaii, the question rears its ugly head - Are all the good ones gay???

Date #1 -- Mexican hot chocolate

To get the ball rolling, I went with online dating to get some initial dates under my belt. I went back to match.com and relaunched my profile-- I've done online dating in the past, with modest success.

The first time I set up the account, I was fresh off a year of traveling and decided to go with the name "vagabondage." And, unfortunately for me, on match, you can update everything in your profile except your username! Sooo, I'm not sure I attracted the right group of guys to my page wih a name like that!

But attract the guys I did! The nice thing about online dating is that if you have a few good photos of yourself, you're certain to get a bunch of attention from the men. I paid my month's subscription only after I had over 10 emails in my inbox. It's a great ego-boost to know that yes, I am good enough, and gosh darn it, people like me!

My first date was with a young lawyer. We met on Sunday afternoon at a very excellent indy coffee shop in Foggy Bottom. My date had recommended the mexican hot chocolate, and it was delicious! Benefit #1 of date -- I discovered a sweet coffee shop! It's called Bourbon Coffee and is a Rawadan coffee house. There's one in NY, too.

He was a lovely guy and we chatted for almost 2 hours... although it was mostly him doing the talking. By the end of the date, I decided he wasn't my type and that I wasn't interested in date #2. But then, he walked me to the metro, and as we were saying goodbye, he began making plans for our second date... sigh. I would have enjoyed being friends with him-- after all, we did have lots in common and he knew a ton of great places to go in the city. But, alas, how do you say you want to be friends after he already expects a second date? After getting home, I wrote a "let's be friends" email. He never responded.

Lesson of the date: In the world of online dating, expectations can run high and finding friends through the process takes skill. Only agree to meet up with someone if you think they are very cute in their photos. Because after all, most people look way worse in person than in their best pic.

the first of 50!

before i get into telling you about my date, i'll just introduce myself briefly: i'm living in london - moved here recently for a job that keeps me very busy! i'm not totally new to the city, but new enough where i'm still discovering things and trying to make new friends and meet new people. i'm not sure what i'm looking for from this challenge, exactly. i think it's mainly about pushing myself outside of my comfort zone and forcing myself to get out of the work-eat-sleep routine (rut?).



anyway, onto the good stuff! i had my first date for the challenge yesterday! i was set up by a friend with one of his colleagues and it was a totally blind date. i'd spoken to this guy on the phone about a week ago and he seemed really nice and interesting, so we agreed to meet for a drink. it was kind of odd having no idea who to look for when we fist met, but aside from that, the whole thing was pretty short and painless. a quick drink, then he had to go somewhere. i'm glad i went, but i'm not really sure how much i got out of it. he seemed okay, but we were in a noisy/crowded bar, kind of shouting at each other over a glass of white wine. it was all kind of friend-y though, no major sparks. but who knows.

i think the "lesson of the date" was that the whole thing was just not a big deal. and not in a bad way. i think sometimes i put a little too much thought into a "date" or meeting a new guy and this was a pretty nice antidote to that - laid back and really relaxed.

on to the next!

Capital City Chica

Hello!

I live in our nation's capitol, and am looking for some fun and hopefully for some romance! I work for the federal government, and though I'm new to the DC area, I've found lots of opportunities to meet new people through the various networks -- work-related happy hours, college alumni events, friends' parties, etc.

I broke up with my boyfriend of a year and a half about two months ago, and am finally ready to meet some of the other fish in the sea. For me, the most important thing is to have fun through this experience. My work can be pretty stressful, and so awkward dating is not at the top of my list of things to do in my spare time. I'm going to try to use my dates as a chance to explore more of the city and do new things.

While I do work for the government, I consider myself a bit of a hippie in bureaucrat's clothing. I love to travel, be outdoors, play ultimate frisbee, and save the planet. I'm looking for a guy who's not too "corporate," but mature, open-minded, willing to try new things, and can make me laugh! I'm more of a San Francisco girl at heart, and so finding those off-the-beaten-track guys who aren't full of themselves can be a challenge in this city. And so in addition to the places mentioned above, I'm considering spending a lot more time looking cute in the organic grocery store, and going to environmental group meetings to meet these hard to find gems of men!

Wish me luck!